Confessions of Childerbert Ingoberger - Session 81
The following account is by Bert; an IC summary of the session played 2020/09/10. I give +1 character point (XP) for those players who submit a summary for me to post here on the blog.
The usual disclaimer about the intelligibility of Bert's regional accent applies.
The usual disclaimer about the intelligibility of Bert's regional accent applies.
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Confessions of Childerbert Ingoberger, the Innocent
So, Oi wuz outsoide, whan Oi 'eard this 'orn blow in the distance, an' then an answer fram wi'in the stockade. Now, oi fears this wuz the springin' o' the trap. But than oi saws about quarter gross oi roiders saddle up an' leave the place, leavng the gates open: unless thoi wuz running ter rendez-vouse wi' confederates, oi reckont 'twarn't no trap after all. As oi looked out the gate, which thoi'd left open, oi saws tham 'eading off towards the road: off ter Gianter's field, mebbe?
Oi turnt round, and thar war Whyfore an' Ampersand: Whyfore war offerin's sword, an' 'avin' it rejected, it seemed. Thoi didn't need us, nor nothing fer whatever war going on. Oi wuz intrigued, an' wanted ter larn more. But oi went barck inside, whar our gang war setting ter go.
Woi all grabbed a small amount o' nosh fram the table, an' skiddaddled. Outsoide, Miaowee reckont 'twere Volgs barck fer the scroll - woi wuz good toime because woi warnted ter mek sure the scroll war secure. Oi suggested that me, Moo an' Darvy go scout along ter Gianter's Field an' see wha' fettle: an' than report barck at the inn.
So, woi returned ter the scene o' our trauma: an' snuck inter the bushes (Darvy flew) to espoi the ends o' 'nother battle ('tis a place of blood an' ill omen, fer sure). Half gross men'd fought orff an' killed three large monstrous bugs. 'Twas wond'rous stroinge.
Woi returned, an' telt the other's o'er supper. Woi discussed whut next: whether ter give the reeve all the booty woi'd lifted fram the volg? What ter do wi' the gianter's scroll. Sailor telt us twar in gheltic (moi an' Sailor 'ad a bit o' a josh on wi' 'im pretending Oi boin't sayin'gs noime roight, propper craic that lad).
Woi all 'greed woi needed ter get the scroll translated.
Than, Miaowee drew'self all up an' sayed: "Woi're at a fork in t'road: wun way'r'nother. D'we deal wi' theat o' Vulger - venturin' inter vulgerland so's Yoscany divn't end up loike Pyhrron. Or, d'we 'ead ter Phessio, ter look for adventure an' profit." Woi debated this back an' forth. Oi mades moi points that Vulgary reynard needs bucks ter thump the alarum an' does'll reward fer safer kits. Oi don't thin thoi got moi. But, bottom loine, oi warnt us ter stay tergether: woi make more shiny that woi.
In the end, thar were 'nother choice, it seems.
The next day the reeve came barck, an' demanded's loot. Whyfore got all mardy, an' carried it out, oi didn't farncy 'elping gi 'way our loot. Than 'ee calls moi out, an' shows moi this back o' coins on the floor: "You 'ave 'em" 'ee sois,, so's oi put tham in moi pouch, all pleasedly, loike. This would cause trouble, later.
That doi war also market doi: woi secured a list wi' caravan, which moide Miaowee dead 'appy: shoi's got a ticket to roide, yeah sh got a ticket to ride, yeah, an' she don't care.
Woi travelled wi'out further adventure back ter Marsh 'all, whar woi alls went an' talked ter the baloney, war all war telt 'bout the cave o' chase, the nickermancers (turns out, the one sent ter town war caught an' dealt wi' Darvy checked that out), somebodies, skellybubs, gobblyuns' hobblyun's, urks, capricious, vulgars. All o't.
Twar after that, arfter Whyfore'd talked to's baloney, that 'ee sprung a surprise option's. 'Parently 'ee couldn't tell's 'fore because 'ee 'ad ter asked permission ("Sir" 'parrently moins "servile"). 'Ee telt us thar war this monster, called it a like, livin' under Marsh 'all, an' tha' 'ee'd swarn ter destroy it. 'Eee arsked our 'elp. An' woi all 'greed, arfter woi'd gone an' prepared ('parently like's 're dang'rous).
'Twas than, if oi remember roight, that some preisty feller came up'n started a'godlying' Moo an' moi: normallyoi'd tell'im ter do one, the lady'd not loike that sort o' thing, but oi war wond'rous wrapt up in the tale we'd just been telt ter remonstrate wi'm. Oi feel loike oi've got some sort o' curse on moi now. Oi'll arfter 'pologoise ter the Lady later.
A geezer fram the guild came 'long an' translated the gheltic scroll: 'parrently this lassy, Medden, war wroitin' t'er brother ter let 'im know she war wi' the grey wicthes (guild geezer reckont thoi moight be in the Imbradan forest).
Arfter that, thar were a settlin' o' share, loot war sold. Thar war a bit of rumtydo whan Darvy came up ter moi an' arsked fer's share o' the loot from the Gianter's field. Now, oi knews nuthin' 'bout that. Than 'ee mentioned the purse Whyfore'd gi'en us, so oi telt 'im straight: "Oi no' nought 'bout no nuttin'never 'bout no moey we 'asn't not never got, none." Butoi told 'im 'bout the money Whyfore gi' moi. Woi troid ter sort it outwi' Whyfore, an' in the end, 'ee gave Dary 'alf a crown ter end the matter, an' oi were pleased moi friends'd made up.
So, 'ere woi are. oi reckon oi'll use the toime woi've got ter troi an' larn more 'bout the vulgar and 'bout likes. Than tis onwards an' upwards ter more adventure.
Oi turnt round, and thar war Whyfore an' Ampersand: Whyfore war offerin's sword, an' 'avin' it rejected, it seemed. Thoi didn't need us, nor nothing fer whatever war going on. Oi wuz intrigued, an' wanted ter larn more. But oi went barck inside, whar our gang war setting ter go.
Woi all grabbed a small amount o' nosh fram the table, an' skiddaddled. Outsoide, Miaowee reckont 'twere Volgs barck fer the scroll - woi wuz good toime because woi warnted ter mek sure the scroll war secure. Oi suggested that me, Moo an' Darvy go scout along ter Gianter's Field an' see wha' fettle: an' than report barck at the inn.
So, woi returned ter the scene o' our trauma: an' snuck inter the bushes (Darvy flew) to espoi the ends o' 'nother battle ('tis a place of blood an' ill omen, fer sure). Half gross men'd fought orff an' killed three large monstrous bugs. 'Twas wond'rous stroinge.
Woi returned, an' telt the other's o'er supper. Woi discussed whut next: whether ter give the reeve all the booty woi'd lifted fram the volg? What ter do wi' the gianter's scroll. Sailor telt us twar in gheltic (moi an' Sailor 'ad a bit o' a josh on wi' 'im pretending Oi boin't sayin'gs noime roight, propper craic that lad).
Woi all 'greed woi needed ter get the scroll translated.
Than, Miaowee drew'self all up an' sayed: "Woi're at a fork in t'road: wun way'r'nother. D'we deal wi' theat o' Vulger - venturin' inter vulgerland so's Yoscany divn't end up loike Pyhrron. Or, d'we 'ead ter Phessio, ter look for adventure an' profit." Woi debated this back an' forth. Oi mades moi points that Vulgary reynard needs bucks ter thump the alarum an' does'll reward fer safer kits. Oi don't thin thoi got moi. But, bottom loine, oi warnt us ter stay tergether: woi make more shiny that woi.
In the end, thar were 'nother choice, it seems.
The next day the reeve came barck, an' demanded's loot. Whyfore got all mardy, an' carried it out, oi didn't farncy 'elping gi 'way our loot. Than 'ee calls moi out, an' shows moi this back o' coins on the floor: "You 'ave 'em" 'ee sois,, so's oi put tham in moi pouch, all pleasedly, loike. This would cause trouble, later.
That doi war also market doi: woi secured a list wi' caravan, which moide Miaowee dead 'appy: shoi's got a ticket to roide, yeah sh got a ticket to ride, yeah, an' she don't care.
Woi travelled wi'out further adventure back ter Marsh 'all, whar woi alls went an' talked ter the baloney, war all war telt 'bout the cave o' chase, the nickermancers (turns out, the one sent ter town war caught an' dealt wi' Darvy checked that out), somebodies, skellybubs, gobblyuns' hobblyun's, urks, capricious, vulgars. All o't.
Twar after that, arfter Whyfore'd talked to's baloney, that 'ee sprung a surprise option's. 'Parently 'ee couldn't tell's 'fore because 'ee 'ad ter asked permission ("Sir" 'parrently moins "servile"). 'Ee telt us thar war this monster, called it a like, livin' under Marsh 'all, an' tha' 'ee'd swarn ter destroy it. 'Eee arsked our 'elp. An' woi all 'greed, arfter woi'd gone an' prepared ('parently like's 're dang'rous).
'Twas than, if oi remember roight, that some preisty feller came up'n started a'godlying' Moo an' moi: normallyoi'd tell'im ter do one, the lady'd not loike that sort o' thing, but oi war wond'rous wrapt up in the tale we'd just been telt ter remonstrate wi'm. Oi feel loike oi've got some sort o' curse on moi now. Oi'll arfter 'pologoise ter the Lady later.
A geezer fram the guild came 'long an' translated the gheltic scroll: 'parrently this lassy, Medden, war wroitin' t'er brother ter let 'im know she war wi' the grey wicthes (guild geezer reckont thoi moight be in the Imbradan forest).
Arfter that, thar were a settlin' o' share, loot war sold. Thar war a bit of rumtydo whan Darvy came up ter moi an' arsked fer's share o' the loot from the Gianter's field. Now, oi knews nuthin' 'bout that. Than 'ee mentioned the purse Whyfore'd gi'en us, so oi telt 'im straight: "Oi no' nought 'bout no nuttin'never 'bout no moey we 'asn't not never got, none." Butoi told 'im 'bout the money Whyfore gi' moi. Woi troid ter sort it outwi' Whyfore, an' in the end, 'ee gave Dary 'alf a crown ter end the matter, an' oi were pleased moi friends'd made up.
So, 'ere woi are. oi reckon oi'll use the toime woi've got ter troi an' larn more 'bout the vulgar and 'bout likes. Than tis onwards an' upwards ter more adventure.
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