Confessions of Childerbert Ingoberger - Session 73
The following account is by Bert; an IC summary of the last session. I give +1 character point (XP) for those players who submit a summary for me to post here on the blog. This session was played 2020/07/16.
The usual disclaimer about the intelligibility of Bert's regional accent applies double this time (see footnote).
The usual disclaimer about the intelligibility of Bert's regional accent applies double this time (see footnote).
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Confessions of Childerert Ingoberer, the corrupter
Woi’d lost trarck o’ toime, an’ as soon’s woi’d resolved ter go oot an look fer wee Mackel, Oi realoised ‘twas parst curfew toime. Now, most toimes bain’t a problem for moi, Oi spend moi nights o’ the street most toimes when Oi can, else oi borrow fer night’s board. But the inn door’d be locked, an’ woi couldn’t severally go art inter the street (specially as this were a strange than an’ none of us knew not none o’ the lillies[*] nor how they didn’t work). Miowee were struck wi’ though tha’ woi moight be being wartched, so’ me, ‘er an’ Moo each stuck our ‘eads out the winder and could not see no-one not bain’t in the street, none.
Miaowee arsked if’n oi wuz certain oi’d foind the feely omi[*]: says oi, warren’s deep as ‘tis long and coney in snare is where snare ‘tis more oftener ‘tis, an ‘tis plain as that. Her ladyship weren’t none unconvinced that there warn’t no use in us not looking fer the feely[*]. That didn’t none please Worrying, so’s oi cackled[*], look ‘ere, oi can take moi bijou lally tappers[*] trolling[*] round the streets on moi todd[*] ter charper[*] fer him. If’n oi see a charpering omi[*] oi can hide wi’out getting inter barnery[*] and come back ter our flowery[*], wi or wi’out the feely[*]. Fer bona[*] or cod[*].
The Countess ‘greed, an’ said oi should hoy a stone at winder ter get attention, an’ Moo’d throw down ‘er whip for moi ter get me fambles[*] on ter pull moiself up. So, oi clambered out of the window an’ landed silent o’ moil lally tappers[*], just in oime oi carpered inter the munge[*] whan oi vardered[*] a whole bunch o’ charpering omis[*], so oi hid moi eek[*]. Oi noticed thoi wuz marching squad strong, thar were one and quarter gross o’ tham.
The than o’ Looknow must’a slept a thousand souls in ten score or more houses: the lillies[*] couldn’t charper[*] everywere, so’s oi knewd thar’d be places round the edges whar free folk could catch close their yews[*]. Oi scampered round, keeping oi yews[*] oot fer a mollie[*] house (feely omis[*] are a common by product o’ trade[*] else thoi know there’s folks wi’ metzas[*] at those places. Oi spotted one such place, brazen as yer loike, a’ saw a customer goin’ out, so’s oi reckon there’s limits ter ‘ow far the rozzers[*] are prepared to go in imposing curfew (an’ tolerating knocking shops ter boot).
Well oi’d been out and oi didn’t find nanti[*]. Looknow is medzered[*] boi a river, an’ oi didn’t fancy tryin’ ter cross the bridge ter charper[*] t’other side. Oi trolled[*] barck ter the flowery[*], pausing only ter get moi orbs[*] on another bunch o’ orderly daughters[*] mincing[*] down the street. Oi hoyed a stone at the winder, as promised, an’ clambered back in wi’ ‘elp fram ‘Moo. Well, sharda[*] but that were that, nishta[*] doing, and so woi went ter bed.
In the morning, whoile woi wuz aving our mangarie[*] ol’ Darvin ‘it on the idea o’ gi’ing one o’ the feely omis[*] outside our flowery[*] gelt[*] ter go charper[*] fer Mackle, an’ ‘ee gave a description.
Whoile ’ee did tha’ Miaowee went on ‘er todd[*] ter see the mare. She still ‘ad all these faluting notions o’ ‘er rank. Oi don’t get it moiself. Oi want ter live loike common people, oi want ter do whatever common people do. Oi don’t warnt ter boi getting inter scrapes o’ honour. Fram what shoi telt us later, shoi got in ter see the mare, ‘oo as good as told ‘er that the big charpering omi[*] ‘isself was shushing[*] the tahn. Miaowee offered ter rid ‘er o’ the problem, but said woi ‘ad ter leave in the hour. The mare couldn’t decoide, so Miaowee left a forwarding address.
Whoile that were ‘appening, the feelly omi[*] came back fer ‘is denari[*]’aving found bijou[*] Mackle. ‘Ee’d brought another friend, and thoi ‘ad a play barney fer the handbag[*], so Moo an’ Darvin shell out a bit more ter even it up. Darvin offert the other feelies[*] ter bring the along wi’ Mackle, one, Tod, agreed, an’ t’other didn’t, an’ ‘ee scarpered[*]. Oi reckon ‘ee were going ter grass, so oi followed ‘im, reckoning if’ the party left (the wagoner were getting itchy ter go) oi could cartch up. So the feely goes an’ talks to another feely, ‘oo imself runs off ter talk ter som omi: so oi knowd tha’ a message were bein’ parst on.
Oi scarpered[*] barck ter the flowery[*], but blows moi if’n oi do’t ‘ave a suspicious rozzer[*] cackling[*] where you scarpering[*] ter? An’ moi wi’ moi bon[*] eek[*] not looking loike butter would’t melt in moi oven[*]. Well, oi polaried[*] moi story o’ missing moi frieds ‘oo were abaht ter leave town, ever word true, oi swear. ‘Ee let moi go, an’ oi rejoined the group, ter let them know what oi’d seen.
Miaowee explained whar shoi’d bin, an’ ‘ow we’d be meshigener[*] ter just troll[*] up ter the gates wi the feelys[*] in tow: if’n thoi wuz working fer the Captain or ‘is gang thoi’d not warnt ter let tham go, a’ would arrest us. So, Adam - as Oi discovered *his* name wuz (he seemed to appreciate ‘twas funny ‘ow oi’d misunderstood that he wuz a he, Oi think ‘ees taken a shoine ter moi) – could make them invisible wi’s spooky, if’n ‘ee really triid. Darvin offert ter ‘elp, an’ so, wi some shovin’ an’ playin’ woi went ter the gate, and got the feely omis[*] oot of the than o’ Looknow, ter take tham er some refuge in a monastery.
Oi felt worry fer the bijou oneys[*], an’ reckon thoi needed some skills ter ‘elp ‘em, so, as woi trolled[*] ter catch up wi’ the wagon (which ‘ad left afore us), oi took the metzas[*] out o’ their cats[*] an’ made them reappear behind their aunt nells[*]. Oi think thoi wuz impressed. Reckon wi’ a few lessons oi could get them up ter not getting caught borrowing. But that would take time. Thoi were impressed wi’ moi skill, though.
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*In town Bert has adopted the use of a thieves’ cant, for which I am using Polari [Evil B.].
Miaowee arsked if’n oi wuz certain oi’d foind the feely omi[*]: says oi, warren’s deep as ‘tis long and coney in snare is where snare ‘tis more oftener ‘tis, an ‘tis plain as that. Her ladyship weren’t none unconvinced that there warn’t no use in us not looking fer the feely[*]. That didn’t none please Worrying, so’s oi cackled[*], look ‘ere, oi can take moi bijou lally tappers[*] trolling[*] round the streets on moi todd[*] ter charper[*] fer him. If’n oi see a charpering omi[*] oi can hide wi’out getting inter barnery[*] and come back ter our flowery[*], wi or wi’out the feely[*]. Fer bona[*] or cod[*].
The Countess ‘greed, an’ said oi should hoy a stone at winder ter get attention, an’ Moo’d throw down ‘er whip for moi ter get me fambles[*] on ter pull moiself up. So, oi clambered out of the window an’ landed silent o’ moil lally tappers[*], just in oime oi carpered inter the munge[*] whan oi vardered[*] a whole bunch o’ charpering omis[*], so oi hid moi eek[*]. Oi noticed thoi wuz marching squad strong, thar were one and quarter gross o’ tham.
The than o’ Looknow must’a slept a thousand souls in ten score or more houses: the lillies[*] couldn’t charper[*] everywere, so’s oi knewd thar’d be places round the edges whar free folk could catch close their yews[*]. Oi scampered round, keeping oi yews[*] oot fer a mollie[*] house (feely omis[*] are a common by product o’ trade[*] else thoi know there’s folks wi’ metzas[*] at those places. Oi spotted one such place, brazen as yer loike, a’ saw a customer goin’ out, so’s oi reckon there’s limits ter ‘ow far the rozzers[*] are prepared to go in imposing curfew (an’ tolerating knocking shops ter boot).
Well oi’d been out and oi didn’t find nanti[*]. Looknow is medzered[*] boi a river, an’ oi didn’t fancy tryin’ ter cross the bridge ter charper[*] t’other side. Oi trolled[*] barck ter the flowery[*], pausing only ter get moi orbs[*] on another bunch o’ orderly daughters[*] mincing[*] down the street. Oi hoyed a stone at the winder, as promised, an’ clambered back in wi’ ‘elp fram ‘Moo. Well, sharda[*] but that were that, nishta[*] doing, and so woi went ter bed.
In the morning, whoile woi wuz aving our mangarie[*] ol’ Darvin ‘it on the idea o’ gi’ing one o’ the feely omis[*] outside our flowery[*] gelt[*] ter go charper[*] fer Mackle, an’ ‘ee gave a description.
Whoile ’ee did tha’ Miaowee went on ‘er todd[*] ter see the mare. She still ‘ad all these faluting notions o’ ‘er rank. Oi don’t get it moiself. Oi want ter live loike common people, oi want ter do whatever common people do. Oi don’t warnt ter boi getting inter scrapes o’ honour. Fram what shoi telt us later, shoi got in ter see the mare, ‘oo as good as told ‘er that the big charpering omi[*] ‘isself was shushing[*] the tahn. Miaowee offered ter rid ‘er o’ the problem, but said woi ‘ad ter leave in the hour. The mare couldn’t decoide, so Miaowee left a forwarding address.
Whoile that were ‘appening, the feelly omi[*] came back fer ‘is denari[*]’aving found bijou[*] Mackle. ‘Ee’d brought another friend, and thoi ‘ad a play barney fer the handbag[*], so Moo an’ Darvin shell out a bit more ter even it up. Darvin offert the other feelies[*] ter bring the along wi’ Mackle, one, Tod, agreed, an’ t’other didn’t, an’ ‘ee scarpered[*]. Oi reckon ‘ee were going ter grass, so oi followed ‘im, reckoning if’ the party left (the wagoner were getting itchy ter go) oi could cartch up. So the feely goes an’ talks to another feely, ‘oo imself runs off ter talk ter som omi: so oi knowd tha’ a message were bein’ parst on.
Oi scarpered[*] barck ter the flowery[*], but blows moi if’n oi do’t ‘ave a suspicious rozzer[*] cackling[*] where you scarpering[*] ter? An’ moi wi’ moi bon[*] eek[*] not looking loike butter would’t melt in moi oven[*]. Well, oi polaried[*] moi story o’ missing moi frieds ‘oo were abaht ter leave town, ever word true, oi swear. ‘Ee let moi go, an’ oi rejoined the group, ter let them know what oi’d seen.
Miaowee explained whar shoi’d bin, an’ ‘ow we’d be meshigener[*] ter just troll[*] up ter the gates wi the feelys[*] in tow: if’n thoi wuz working fer the Captain or ‘is gang thoi’d not warnt ter let tham go, a’ would arrest us. So, Adam - as Oi discovered *his* name wuz (he seemed to appreciate ‘twas funny ‘ow oi’d misunderstood that he wuz a he, Oi think ‘ees taken a shoine ter moi) – could make them invisible wi’s spooky, if’n ‘ee really triid. Darvin offert ter ‘elp, an’ so, wi some shovin’ an’ playin’ woi went ter the gate, and got the feely omis[*] oot of the than o’ Looknow, ter take tham er some refuge in a monastery.
Oi felt worry fer the bijou oneys[*], an’ reckon thoi needed some skills ter ‘elp ‘em, so, as woi trolled[*] ter catch up wi’ the wagon (which ‘ad left afore us), oi took the metzas[*] out o’ their cats[*] an’ made them reappear behind their aunt nells[*]. Oi think thoi wuz impressed. Reckon wi’ a few lessons oi could get them up ter not getting caught borrowing. But that would take time. Thoi were impressed wi’ moi skill, though.
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*In town Bert has adopted the use of a thieves’ cant, for which I am using Polari [Evil B.].
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