Confessions of Childerbert Ingoberger, Locksmith - Sessions 47 & 48
The following is an IC summary written by Bert's player.
(I make no apologies for any spelling mistakes. I barely understand the character's regional accent myself).
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See, Oi wuz trampin’ ‘long, an’ wuz i’ the town – down ta meh last few farthin’s – when oi came ‘cross ol’ Darvin, Yeh know, young student coney boy Oi met back i’ the smoke ways back. Back when Oi wuz still o’ the guild, if Yeh ken wha’ Oi mean. So’s, Oi though’ a’ mehsel’ “Coney wi’ no skin’s hard a’ catch”, if Yeh get meh meanin’.
Oi tapped the youngster up, said: “Yeh’ll be needing a feller as honest as long t’ be ‘elping wi’ Yer wizardy ways, an oi’m just the boy fer the job: down the warren as wriggley as a coney wi’ loose skin, if Yeh get meh meaning.”
So’s, ee took meh up te the Inn, an Oi met ‘is gang: a rum bunch of Priest folk, Elves an’ cat things. Reckon not an honest day’s work ‘mong ‘em. But, what’s a working man a’ do I’ these times, Oi ask Yeh, eh? Ther blades were as keen as any coney’s tooth, and Darvin reckons loot is plateful worth, if Yeh ken wha Oi mean. So Oi signs up te the company fer a full share’s as is mee worth, b’ the Lady.
Now, see ‘ere, soon as like we step out to our first job, sommat do do wi’ Conies in a Keep wanting to steal keys – now, there’s a thing Oi can’t abide, is thieves. A coney must be honest else ee can’t fit is skin, if Yeh ken wha Oi mean. Anyway, flash as Yeh like, we’re set on by footpads, and whilst Oi sees fit to get to fettle wi’ the Jack as is on meh, ther Miao cat thing, she whisks ‘er blade out, zip zap zooch, these conies is all skinned!
Well, think Oi, this is a rum to do, Yer workin’ wi’ folks as kill as easy as they blinks. Tha’s no honest way, if Yeh ken what Oi mean, but Yeh keeps Yer ‘ead down, young Childerbert (Buggers all call meh Bert, like some strippling, ‘sif there’s no memory of what a Childerbert is. An’ Childerbert is as Childerbert does, if Yeh get meh meaning), there’s honest pay for a locksmith wi’ these folk and make no mistake. Yeh do Yer job and they’ll do theirs and leave their consciences to the Lady, is what Oi say.
So, Oi needed a wee drink after that, so Oi tells them Oi’m off to ask around a few parts in town, about if any rum cove conies have been after thieves to steal keys. Now, the only thing Oi hears is some furren Coney ‘as bin asking after some wand ‘r other, an’ that there are pirates o’ the rise. Well, that won’t butter no conies, thinks Oi, so Oi bought some pies as snacks for the journey, and blow meh, if the Company didn’t put young Childerbert in buying food supplies for them all. Well, Oi bought enough food to fill a strippling each, and left the merchant feller wi’ a broad smile on’s face.
Now, we got work as guards on a caravan, which was easy enough, and soon we were at the keep, a sort of warren in the sky. Oi can’t remember much of what happened at the inn, Oi knows folk were generous wi’ their food, and we ‘eard tell o’ monsters an’ Ghoulies i’ the caves ‘bout. Well an’ good, thought Oi, we’re ‘ere fer ghoullies, if there’s no mistake, and in the warren is where Yeh’ll find the coney skin or no skin.
So, we sets off through the woods, and blow me if some frightful hobgoblins is haunting these woods. Now, Oi gets to the woods te drop me gear, ready to fight, when one sees me, so Oi closes on ‘im, well, ‘ee didn’ ‘spect tha’, coney ‘as teeth as well as skin, see.
(I make no apologies for any spelling mistakes. I barely understand the character's regional accent myself).
---
See, Oi wuz trampin’ ‘long, an’ wuz i’ the town – down ta meh last few farthin’s – when oi came ‘cross ol’ Darvin, Yeh know, young student coney boy Oi met back i’ the smoke ways back. Back when Oi wuz still o’ the guild, if Yeh ken wha’ Oi mean. So’s, Oi though’ a’ mehsel’ “Coney wi’ no skin’s hard a’ catch”, if Yeh get meh meanin’.
Oi tapped the youngster up, said: “Yeh’ll be needing a feller as honest as long t’ be ‘elping wi’ Yer wizardy ways, an oi’m just the boy fer the job: down the warren as wriggley as a coney wi’ loose skin, if Yeh get meh meaning.”
So’s, ee took meh up te the Inn, an Oi met ‘is gang: a rum bunch of Priest folk, Elves an’ cat things. Reckon not an honest day’s work ‘mong ‘em. But, what’s a working man a’ do I’ these times, Oi ask Yeh, eh? Ther blades were as keen as any coney’s tooth, and Darvin reckons loot is plateful worth, if Yeh ken wha Oi mean. So Oi signs up te the company fer a full share’s as is mee worth, b’ the Lady.
Now, see ‘ere, soon as like we step out to our first job, sommat do do wi’ Conies in a Keep wanting to steal keys – now, there’s a thing Oi can’t abide, is thieves. A coney must be honest else ee can’t fit is skin, if Yeh ken wha Oi mean. Anyway, flash as Yeh like, we’re set on by footpads, and whilst Oi sees fit to get to fettle wi’ the Jack as is on meh, ther Miao cat thing, she whisks ‘er blade out, zip zap zooch, these conies is all skinned!
Well, think Oi, this is a rum to do, Yer workin’ wi’ folks as kill as easy as they blinks. Tha’s no honest way, if Yeh ken what Oi mean, but Yeh keeps Yer ‘ead down, young Childerbert (Buggers all call meh Bert, like some strippling, ‘sif there’s no memory of what a Childerbert is. An’ Childerbert is as Childerbert does, if Yeh get meh meaning), there’s honest pay for a locksmith wi’ these folk and make no mistake. Yeh do Yer job and they’ll do theirs and leave their consciences to the Lady, is what Oi say.
So, Oi needed a wee drink after that, so Oi tells them Oi’m off to ask around a few parts in town, about if any rum cove conies have been after thieves to steal keys. Now, the only thing Oi hears is some furren Coney ‘as bin asking after some wand ‘r other, an’ that there are pirates o’ the rise. Well, that won’t butter no conies, thinks Oi, so Oi bought some pies as snacks for the journey, and blow meh, if the Company didn’t put young Childerbert in buying food supplies for them all. Well, Oi bought enough food to fill a strippling each, and left the merchant feller wi’ a broad smile on’s face.
Now, we got work as guards on a caravan, which was easy enough, and soon we were at the keep, a sort of warren in the sky. Oi can’t remember much of what happened at the inn, Oi knows folk were generous wi’ their food, and we ‘eard tell o’ monsters an’ Ghoulies i’ the caves ‘bout. Well an’ good, thought Oi, we’re ‘ere fer ghoullies, if there’s no mistake, and in the warren is where Yeh’ll find the coney skin or no skin.
So, we sets off through the woods, and blow me if some frightful hobgoblins is haunting these woods. Now, Oi gets to the woods te drop me gear, ready to fight, when one sees me, so Oi closes on ‘im, well, ‘ee didn’ ‘spect tha’, coney ‘as teeth as well as skin, see.
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