Confessions of Childerbert Ingoberger - Session 70
The following account is by Bert; an IC summary of the last session. I give +1 character point (XP) for those players who submit a summary for me to post here on the blog. This session was played 2020/06/25.
The usual disclaimer about the intelligibility of Bert's regional accent applies.
The usual disclaimer about the intelligibility of Bert's regional accent applies.
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Further confessions of Ingoberger
So, woi dragged the urk chieftain out o’ their warren and then woi lugged the corpse ter copse. Worrying started ter try an’ ‘eal the ‘rendous wounds in ‘Emmu, whilst the rest o’ us lay back ter cartch breath an’ clean their swords. Me an’ ‘Eaveho kept watch.
Now, Oi ‘ears this scuffleration in the growth, twig and leaf getting the ol’ trod, ye ken: an’ oi’m loike the buck wi’ the thumping feet: ‘eaveho ‘ears it too, an’ as ‘ee starts ter warn the crew oi skeeter under a bush: lesson o’ the caves is woi don’t all want ter get dropped in the one place: back up is what oi be.
Well, emerging oot o’ the trees, blows moi if’n bain’t the ‘obbly gobblies we wuz gonna be looking inter seein. Now, oi wuz reckoning it loikely they would try it on an’ get their revenge on us, an’ so moving on us first looked a good move on their part.
Now, blows moi if’n oi turns round, straight inter the face o’ a gobby: Whut ye doing ‘ere? ‘ee arsks moi. Oi’m doing moi business i’ the woods, oi says, an’ begins ter squat an’ pull down moi parnts, just enough ter crap, but oi could still pulls ‘em back easy ‘nuff if’n oi needed ter foight. Woll, the gobby, ‘ee turns an’ wazzes on a tree whoile oi laid spoor.
‘Ee followed moi barck ter where the rests o’ the party were, an’ they wuz all negotiating loike, wi’ ‘Emmu terpreting in a koind o’ tired slurry way. It looked dicey, at first, they seemed dead keen on us fer to get leaving. Thoi warnted the ‘ole urk cadavre, Miao noted that woi’d only promised them the ‘ead, but thoi arsked if’n woi wanted the carcass fer the eating. Now, that ‘and’t occurred ter moi, reckon urk meat’d be a touch tough, mebbe the offal could be done wi’, but thar’d boi more meat’n a coney an’t easier ter skin. Turned out tha’ woi let them ‘ave the body, but woi kept the armour. Blow moi if’n the hobbie didn’t chivvy us so ter get the job done.
The ‘obbs offert uz more work, ter goes after the cold balls – oi think that wuz, but Miaoee telt ‘em nah, woi’d done fer now, thoi could settle thar own ‘ash, so she said, loike.
So, they left wi’ their prize, an’ woi left wi’ the sacks of loot they gi’z in exchange. Sack o’ pennies an’ some old shirts o’ chain. Twas all o’ a ‘eavy lift, oi’d a’ helped but oi ‘ad ter carry the farncy sword oi’d found on the urk chief. Lovely, twere, wi’ sparkle in the grippy bi’ an’ all swirls an’ decorations – funny ‘ow a thing fer the killing can be so full o’ loife an’ made wi’ such ‘pparent love. Bu’ woi carried the load barck ter the keep.
Whyfore looked o’er the armour an’ the sword, and reckont thoi wuz worth the sellin. Meow an’ Jenkins went an took the wee pennies, bronze coins from furrin parts, an’ went ter sell ‘em. Now, moi, b’ain’t got no kenning o’ the metal bits, alls oi knows is thoi be shiny an’ get yer food an’ drink or they don’t. Thars some sort o’ magic ter money: gold becomes silver, silver becomes copper whan silver bain’t copper nor gold nor bronze. Now, these coins were mythic bronze, so’s Jenkins said, which means they wuz coppers an’ coppers can become gold, but normal bronze bain’t mythic so bain’t so goldy as mythic bronze nor silver none. Upshot was woi ‘ad bronze, but now woi ‘ave gold.
So, woi checked out that thar were a caravan in a few days, an’ reckont woi’d join tha’. Whyfore made ‘isself popular by buying drinks, an’ woi all said our fairwells an’ caroused a while. Woi laid future plans, oi ‘opes woi stays together, as oi’ve never ‘ad so much success on moi todd. Oi’ve been saying woi should troi our ‘and in Phessio, get some glory fer the achievements in thoise caves an’ see if’n we can’t find more adventure and loot from there, rather than at Marsh Hall.
First, woi need ter go ter Marsh ‘All an check that the nickermancers didn’t not steal nothing an’ see if’n woi can’t get some sort o reward.
Now, Oi ‘ears this scuffleration in the growth, twig and leaf getting the ol’ trod, ye ken: an’ oi’m loike the buck wi’ the thumping feet: ‘eaveho ‘ears it too, an’ as ‘ee starts ter warn the crew oi skeeter under a bush: lesson o’ the caves is woi don’t all want ter get dropped in the one place: back up is what oi be.
Well, emerging oot o’ the trees, blows moi if’n bain’t the ‘obbly gobblies we wuz gonna be looking inter seein. Now, oi wuz reckoning it loikely they would try it on an’ get their revenge on us, an’ so moving on us first looked a good move on their part.
Now, blows moi if’n oi turns round, straight inter the face o’ a gobby: Whut ye doing ‘ere? ‘ee arsks moi. Oi’m doing moi business i’ the woods, oi says, an’ begins ter squat an’ pull down moi parnts, just enough ter crap, but oi could still pulls ‘em back easy ‘nuff if’n oi needed ter foight. Woll, the gobby, ‘ee turns an’ wazzes on a tree whoile oi laid spoor.
‘Ee followed moi barck ter where the rests o’ the party were, an’ they wuz all negotiating loike, wi’ ‘Emmu terpreting in a koind o’ tired slurry way. It looked dicey, at first, they seemed dead keen on us fer to get leaving. Thoi warnted the ‘ole urk cadavre, Miao noted that woi’d only promised them the ‘ead, but thoi arsked if’n woi wanted the carcass fer the eating. Now, that ‘and’t occurred ter moi, reckon urk meat’d be a touch tough, mebbe the offal could be done wi’, but thar’d boi more meat’n a coney an’t easier ter skin. Turned out tha’ woi let them ‘ave the body, but woi kept the armour. Blow moi if’n the hobbie didn’t chivvy us so ter get the job done.
The ‘obbs offert uz more work, ter goes after the cold balls – oi think that wuz, but Miaoee telt ‘em nah, woi’d done fer now, thoi could settle thar own ‘ash, so she said, loike.
So, they left wi’ their prize, an’ woi left wi’ the sacks of loot they gi’z in exchange. Sack o’ pennies an’ some old shirts o’ chain. Twas all o’ a ‘eavy lift, oi’d a’ helped but oi ‘ad ter carry the farncy sword oi’d found on the urk chief. Lovely, twere, wi’ sparkle in the grippy bi’ an’ all swirls an’ decorations – funny ‘ow a thing fer the killing can be so full o’ loife an’ made wi’ such ‘pparent love. Bu’ woi carried the load barck ter the keep.
Whyfore looked o’er the armour an’ the sword, and reckont thoi wuz worth the sellin. Meow an’ Jenkins went an took the wee pennies, bronze coins from furrin parts, an’ went ter sell ‘em. Now, moi, b’ain’t got no kenning o’ the metal bits, alls oi knows is thoi be shiny an’ get yer food an’ drink or they don’t. Thars some sort o’ magic ter money: gold becomes silver, silver becomes copper whan silver bain’t copper nor gold nor bronze. Now, these coins were mythic bronze, so’s Jenkins said, which means they wuz coppers an’ coppers can become gold, but normal bronze bain’t mythic so bain’t so goldy as mythic bronze nor silver none. Upshot was woi ‘ad bronze, but now woi ‘ave gold.
So, woi checked out that thar were a caravan in a few days, an’ reckont woi’d join tha’. Whyfore made ‘isself popular by buying drinks, an’ woi all said our fairwells an’ caroused a while. Woi laid future plans, oi ‘opes woi stays together, as oi’ve never ‘ad so much success on moi todd. Oi’ve been saying woi should troi our ‘and in Phessio, get some glory fer the achievements in thoise caves an’ see if’n we can’t find more adventure and loot from there, rather than at Marsh Hall.
First, woi need ter go ter Marsh ‘All an check that the nickermancers didn’t not steal nothing an’ see if’n woi can’t get some sort o reward.
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