Confessions of Childerbert Ingoberger - Session 67
The following account is by Bert; an IC summary of the last session. I give +1 character point (XP) for those players who submit a summary for me to post here on the blog. This session was played 2020/06/04.
The usual disclaimer about the intelligibility of Bert's regional accent applies.
The usual disclaimer about the intelligibility of Bert's regional accent applies.
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So, in comes this great gloopinous mound, all squarey, loike. Slipping an’ sliding as inexorable as fate nor death isself. Thinks oi, fire: burns the bugger wi’ oils or the loike. Now, we wuz in the acquerne room, so oi looks ‘round, and reckons thar be barrels, moight ‘ave oil in in ‘em. Meanwhile, Eave’o an’ ‘Emmu was rushing t’wards the gloop, moighty an’ August as t’were – an’ if moi eyes didn’t deceive moi, Oi reckon’t Miaoee were running t’other way. But Oi ‘ad no time fer ter reckon o’ tha’ , Oi ‘ad to check the barrels, but found only vinegar inside.
As Oi looked in, Miaoee came over ter me, telling me the August gloop were now dead, an we needed ter clean folk off, Oi saw Eave’o an’ Gregus tekkin’ of their boots: an’ ‘Emmu were sparked out in the midst of the gloop: I were telt arter tha’ it ‘ad swallowed ‘er ‘ole. So me ‘an Miaoee rolled out the barrel an’ arter a few strokes we’d spilt the vinegar on the floor, an’ that soaked up most o’ the gloop, but ol’ Darvin summonsed some magicky water to ‘elp clean folks down.
But, oi noticed ol’ Darvy boy, whilst we wuz rollin’ the barrel, a filching a summat from the muck. Thinks oi, loot is loot an’ the pie keeps wha’ ‘ee lifts an’ share is as share does vixen ter cubs as ye ken. But, ol’ catty ‘ad noticed too, an’ asked, loike, wha’ Darvin were ‘bout. ‘Ee telt as twere to look at, an’ again we ‘ad all that kerfuffle ‘bout evil this and godly that, blah de blah: so off woi traipsed inter the woods an’ Worrying and Merrying telt us all as ‘twere an’ ceased their fret coz they didn’t think us not no evil none.
All tha’ o’er an’ done wi’, we went back fer the final toime woi crept inter the decrepit crypt, an’ as Darvin an’ Eave’o were checking first tomb (wi’out checkin’ it safely, of course, as they’d asked their openings specialist, young Bert, ter stay at the back) when more o’ these Somebodies jumps up – only later woi larnt they wuz super somebodies on ‘count o’ their weight or sommat.
Whyfore run’s for the, an’ gets isself surrounded. Darvin leaps inter air wi’ fiery lance thing from’s’and and Miao an’ ‘Emmu gets ter work wi; smiting the somebodies while Merrying prays. Oi saw that Eave’o ‘ad froze all sudden loike, which worried moi some, so’s Oi goes and skilfully drags ‘im safely ter the ground and rolls on top o’ ‘im, all in one move, loike. Just shows, the Easy Way works, Oi brought a much greater man weighin’ all telt four toimes moi down an’ below us. The moightiest oak bends in’ t’wind an’ is only as strong as’ roots.
Woll, Oi looked at ‘im wi’ my medical know ‘ow, seeing as ‘ow oi’m in the party for my knowings and doings, loike. So’s, Oi looked at ‘im, an Oi remember the time moi ol’ Arnty Betty, rest her wicked soul, fell o’er all still loike for an’ ‘our, an’ moi cousin Mary-Lou, she reckon twas coz of the little folks: she’d been kissed boi a Leprechaun. Course, Arnty Betty were chaste, an’ it may just a’ been the shock, but Aunty Lobelia reckon twere magical loike.
As the foight went on, Gregus and Worrying were sparked loike Eyefor An’ Mace broke’s Mace, which were a sad thing. Jenkins were fishing round ins’ back fer some sort o’ magick dagger.
But Miaoee and Darvin saw the somebodies off wi’ sword an magick. Arter the foight, old Merry were clearly strained an uncommunicative, it must have taken it out o’ her so to pray against the somebodies, she did’t even notice her favourite person talking to ‘er, young Bert, when Oi arsked ‘er about whether twas safe to search the somebodies. She said we should wait, an’ twere a waiting curse they’d caused on everyone, which would wear off soon – loike the Leprechaun’s kiss, loike Oi said.
The weighty somebodies were smashed up an’ burnt, an’ Oi remembered where the rest o’ that secret passage up stairs led.
Well, that meant we’d searched the ‘ole o’ th’ole : so that’s tha’. Oi reckons we should jus’ ;ead back to Marsh ‘all now our job is done, bu’ tehre’s chat an’ debate ter be ‘ad, because Miaoee wants ‘er dragon so. Bert is small an’ crunchy, bain’t keen on dragons…
As Oi looked in, Miaoee came over ter me, telling me the August gloop were now dead, an we needed ter clean folk off, Oi saw Eave’o an’ Gregus tekkin’ of their boots: an’ ‘Emmu were sparked out in the midst of the gloop: I were telt arter tha’ it ‘ad swallowed ‘er ‘ole. So me ‘an Miaoee rolled out the barrel an’ arter a few strokes we’d spilt the vinegar on the floor, an’ that soaked up most o’ the gloop, but ol’ Darvin summonsed some magicky water to ‘elp clean folks down.
But, oi noticed ol’ Darvy boy, whilst we wuz rollin’ the barrel, a filching a summat from the muck. Thinks oi, loot is loot an’ the pie keeps wha’ ‘ee lifts an’ share is as share does vixen ter cubs as ye ken. But, ol’ catty ‘ad noticed too, an’ asked, loike, wha’ Darvin were ‘bout. ‘Ee telt as twere to look at, an’ again we ‘ad all that kerfuffle ‘bout evil this and godly that, blah de blah: so off woi traipsed inter the woods an’ Worrying and Merrying telt us all as ‘twere an’ ceased their fret coz they didn’t think us not no evil none.
All tha’ o’er an’ done wi’, we went back fer the final toime woi crept inter the decrepit crypt, an’ as Darvin an’ Eave’o were checking first tomb (wi’out checkin’ it safely, of course, as they’d asked their openings specialist, young Bert, ter stay at the back) when more o’ these Somebodies jumps up – only later woi larnt they wuz super somebodies on ‘count o’ their weight or sommat.
Whyfore run’s for the, an’ gets isself surrounded. Darvin leaps inter air wi’ fiery lance thing from’s’and and Miao an’ ‘Emmu gets ter work wi; smiting the somebodies while Merrying prays. Oi saw that Eave’o ‘ad froze all sudden loike, which worried moi some, so’s Oi goes and skilfully drags ‘im safely ter the ground and rolls on top o’ ‘im, all in one move, loike. Just shows, the Easy Way works, Oi brought a much greater man weighin’ all telt four toimes moi down an’ below us. The moightiest oak bends in’ t’wind an’ is only as strong as’ roots.
Woll, Oi looked at ‘im wi’ my medical know ‘ow, seeing as ‘ow oi’m in the party for my knowings and doings, loike. So’s, Oi looked at ‘im, an Oi remember the time moi ol’ Arnty Betty, rest her wicked soul, fell o’er all still loike for an’ ‘our, an’ moi cousin Mary-Lou, she reckon twas coz of the little folks: she’d been kissed boi a Leprechaun. Course, Arnty Betty were chaste, an’ it may just a’ been the shock, but Aunty Lobelia reckon twere magical loike.
As the foight went on, Gregus and Worrying were sparked loike Eyefor An’ Mace broke’s Mace, which were a sad thing. Jenkins were fishing round ins’ back fer some sort o’ magick dagger.
But Miaoee and Darvin saw the somebodies off wi’ sword an magick. Arter the foight, old Merry were clearly strained an uncommunicative, it must have taken it out o’ her so to pray against the somebodies, she did’t even notice her favourite person talking to ‘er, young Bert, when Oi arsked ‘er about whether twas safe to search the somebodies. She said we should wait, an’ twere a waiting curse they’d caused on everyone, which would wear off soon – loike the Leprechaun’s kiss, loike Oi said.
The weighty somebodies were smashed up an’ burnt, an’ Oi remembered where the rest o’ that secret passage up stairs led.
Well, that meant we’d searched the ‘ole o’ th’ole : so that’s tha’. Oi reckons we should jus’ ;ead back to Marsh ‘all now our job is done, bu’ tehre’s chat an’ debate ter be ‘ad, because Miaoee wants ‘er dragon so. Bert is small an’ crunchy, bain’t keen on dragons…
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